When you announce that you're pregnant, I think the most common question after 'when are you due?' is 'are you going to find out the sex?' We've found out both times before and happily shared the news with all of our family and friends. The first time, in particular, I was very grateful that we chose to find out the sex. For some reason I was thinking I would have a girl. Not that I had particularly hoped for a girl over a boy, but it just seemed to make more sense for whatever reason. Then we found out I was having a boy. It actually took me a few days to adjust my thinking and I'm so glad that happened at 20 weeks pregnant and not after M was born.
Now with 2 boys already, the question implies not just curiosity, but almost a hopefulness, that this time around we might be lucky enough to have a girl. Sometimes it's merely a statement, 'I bet you're hoping for a girl', or maybe the slightly more polite version, 'are you hoping for a girl this time?' but no matter how the subject comes up, it annoys me. Of course it would be lovely to have a girl and experience how that's different as my children grow up (not that we would treat a girl differently...) but equally I would be thrilled to have another boy. Truly, genuinely thrilled. Although insisting almost becomes a case of 'the lady doth protest too much' which only adds to my frustration. Ultimately all I want is a healthy baby.
Next week is the 20 week scan. A few weeks ago I was determined not to find out the sex as some kind of perverse way of provoking anyone who had an opinion about whether the baby would/should be a boy or girl. Then I decided we would find out, but not tell anyone. Though this wouldn't really work as we would have to tell M (who is desperate to know and alternates between what he is wishing for), and 4-year-olds certainly can't be relied on to keep secrets. Now I think we will find out, and will share the news. I just need to find a way to deal with the reactions - because I know I'm being a little bit sensitive and people are just being interested and nice, but as long as the baby as healthy I really don't mind what sex it is, it's just sometimes I wish it wasn't such a big deal.
Previously: 16 weeks / 17 weeks / 18 weeks